SURVIVING SAVANNAH: GODS OF CHAOS MC (BOOK 16) Read online

  “I agree,” I said.

  “I’m going to call around and talk to some other doctors in the area,” she said.

  I nodded in agreement. “Sounds good, I’m going to go check in with everyone. I’ll keep you posted.”

  I hugged her and walked out of the hospital, leaving her to do what she’d been doing everyday — waiting for her sister to wake up.

  Chapter 24

  ROSE

  “I don’t want to go!”

  I stared at Maggie across the breakfast table, and it was like looking at myself twenty years ago. She was so beautiful, so willful, so exceedingly independent and stubborn.

  I knew how that felt all too well.

  “It’s not up to you, sweetheart,” I reminded her. “It’s a court ordered visit. And I’m sure your father has something cool planned. He’s going to pick you and Clem up after school today.”

  “Oh, please! The only reason he bought that house by the water is so he could leave me there and think I had something to do. He’s not interested in spending time with me. He stays in his office, or he goes to the hospital at all hours of the night. Last time, he spent half an hour with me and Clem, and that was it.”

  “Well, if you don’t go, I’ll get in trouble.”

  “It’s not fair!”

  “Well, life isn’t fair,” I said, cringing as the words passed my lips. I sounded like my mother. In fact, I’d had this exact exchange with her when Blade left town. I’d wanted so badly to go find him, and even though I was eighteen, my parents wouldn’t allow it. They’d said it wasn’t proper for a girl to go chasing some boy across the country.

  I’d never understood why he left, or why I couldn’t go after him. To me, none of it was fair and my mother was quick to remind me that I would learn this lesson many times in life.

  “And I have to be with him on my birthday, too, Mom? That’s not fair either! I want to hang out with my friends!”

  “Maggie, you read the court order yourself. Every other weekend, and every other holiday or birthday. I had you for Christmas. This is just how it is now. You can plan something with your friends another time to make up for it.”

  She glared at me, crossing her hands over her chest, and shaking her head.

  “What?” I asked.

  “This is all your fault.”

  She flung the words at me like daggers. She was convinced I’d ruined her life, and maybe she was right, maybe I’d ruined all of our lives, but at least I wouldn’t have to spend another night under the same roof with Derek.

  Was it too high a price to pay? I had no idea. Not yet, anyway.

  “Look we’ll get used to all of this. It’s just new.”

  “It’s not new, Mom, it’s fucked up!”

  “Language!” I shouted, just as Maggie’s phone buzzed. She rolled her eyes and answered.

  “Hey, Dad.”

  As she listened, her face slowly lit up with happiness.

  “Oh, you can’t? Aw, that’s too bad. Okay, yeah, sure another time. Sure, love you too.”

  She hung up the phone and looked over at me smugly.

  “He has to work all weekend covering for someone. I’m free!”

  “What!” I cried. “That’s not allowed!”

  “Not everyone follows the rules like you do, Mom.”

  “Unbelievable!”

  “Whatever, at least I don’t have to hang out with him,” she said. “Will you tell Clem? I’m picking up Tara before school.”

  “Sure,” I said, shaking my head. “Although I should call and argue with him.”

  “What good is that going to do? You always lose every fight with him.”

  “That is not true!” I said.

  “Sure, Mom.”

  She rolled her eyes and stomped off, grabbing the keys of her way-too-expensive Land Rover, purchased by her rule-breaking father, and slamming the front door when she left.

  I sighed and leaned against the kitchen counter, just as Clem emerged from her bedroom. She came right over and gave me a hug.

  “Hi, sweetie,” I said.

  “So, Dad’s not picking us up?”

  “No, babe,” I said, grateful I still had my little girl who wanted to hang out with me and didn’t hate me. “You’re stuck with me this weekend, I’m afraid.”

  She pulled away and looked up at me sheepishly. “Actually, I was hoping you’d let me go to Cassie’s for the weekend? Her Mom already said yes. She said I can go home with them after school today.”

  I tried to ignore the little crack in my heart and smiled down at her. Maybe a little time alone would do me good. I probably wouldn’t see Maggie again until Sunday, knowing her. She spent all her time with Tara and her circle of friends now.

  “Okay, babe,” I sighed. “Go pack and I’ll give you a ride.”

  She did a little jump for joy and skipped to her room. I watched her glee with envy, trying to remember the last time I’d been that happy.

  Chapter 25

  MAGGIE

  “It’s Friday,” Tara said. “Nobody will notice if we aren’t in class.”

  I ignored the awful feeling in my stomach and put the Rover in gear. Tara had convinced me skipping school on a Friday was no big deal, but my body hadn’t quite gotten the message.

  Even though I had a full social life, school was important to me. School was my ticket out of this god forsaken hell hole. I didn’t want to depend on my family’s money, either. I had plans.

  I wanted to be a successful designer.

  I dreamed of designing all kinds of things. From clothes to handbags to shoes to housewares, I was going to be successful all on my own. But that meant getting into a good college first and that meant I at least had to get decent, if not great, grades.

  So, skipping class went against that entirely.

  And if Tara and I weren’t going to Bonaventure to meet up with Finn and Ian then I probably wouldn’t have said yes.

  But I was quickly becoming very fond of making out with Finn and as Tara said, it was Friday, after all, and what harm would one missed afternoon really cause, anyway?

  By the time we made it to the cemetery, I’d managed to push all my fears away and I allowed the warm Spring sunshine to melt all my worries away.

  I knew I’d most likely spend the afternoon fielding off Finn’s roaming hands, but getting to kiss him was worth it. Soon, I’d give into his frustrations, but I wasn’t ready yet.

  I didn’t mind making him wait, either.

  It wasn’t because I was afraid he wouldn’t respect me. It was simply because I wasn’t ready and I knew it. I was close, but not quite there.

  And as long as he respected that, I’d let him kiss me all he wanted.

  I jumped out of the car without a care in the world, and totally looking forward to spending the weekend with my friends instead of my boring father.

  Chapter 26

  BLADE

  The list haunted me all night.

  Seeing Maggie’s name on there had really thrown me for a loop. It made all this so real, for some reasons. The other girl’s murders were gruesome, no doubt, but I didn’t know those girls. Not that I knew Maggie, either. In fact, I’d never met her. But the thought of something happening to hurt Rose was a little too close to home.

  I drove around for a bit after breakfast, heading out to the cemetery that I’d avoided yesterday. Not only was it full of graves, but it was full of memories. Rose and I spent so much time there, finding it was one of the only places where we could be ourselves.

  We’d sneak in after it closed in the evenings. It was so sprawling, it was easy to sneak in and hide for a good long while before the caretakers noticed you. And Rose being Rose, everyone knew her family, and she’d never really get in any trouble.

  They’d just ask us to leave, to say hello to her father, and that was it.

  The time we spent alone stretched out endlessly in my memories. We’d stroll past all the headstones and monuments and statues, making up s
tories for all the people who’s stories we didn’t already know. We’d stroll hand-in-hand under the canopies of the huge live oaks, the long fingers of the moss hanging down and brushing against our faces.

  The first time I’d kissed her had been under that moss. It was magical. And every single time after that, too. After a year of doing nothing but kissing, things were heating up so much between us that neither of us could resist anymore.

  It was a late summer afternoon when we finally gave in to temptation, and I’d never had a more sensual experience in my life. The heat hung heavy in the air, along with the haunting smell of the pink roses outside of her bedroom window. For years, the smell of roses brought me right back to that room, to that afternoon, when everything that was ever meant to be came to fruition in that room.

  Nothing had ever been more right in my life than those few hours.

  I could remember the sunshine beaming through the windows, the way it lit up Rose’s blonde hair, leaving it sparkling like it was sprinkled with angel’s dust. I remembered the look in her eyes as we finally lay naked together, our bare skin sliding together for the first time.

  It was the first time I felt truly alive.

  Every moment before and after that was a joke. Nothing ever measured up to that time with her.

  The cemetery brought it all back, leaving me almost unable to drive. I parked the bike and decided to go for a stroll while I contemplated my next move. I felt like I needed to tell Rose about the list, but I knew it would shatter any feelings of safety she might have.

  So, I was torn. I could have consulted Ryder. Or Slade or Riot or Grace. Or even my sister. But somehow, this felt personal. If I screwed this up, I needed the blame to fall squarely on my shoulders, and my shoulders alone.

  I hoped a walk through the place where I felt the closest to Rose would guide me in the right direction.

  Strolling past all the familiar places was like walking back in time. I knew so many of these people’s stories, just by living in Savannah. It was all local folklore, we practically studied them in school, for fuck’s sake.

  That’s how it was here. It was all about the people who built Savannah, and honoring them and their archaic ways of thinking and living. Hell, I knew Anson Beddingham’s name before I knew the name of my great-grandfather.

  It was important to remember your ancestors, sure, but this worship of them wasn’t always deserved. Some of these guys were assholes. Why did they need a statue of them in the park?

  A burst of laughter broke the silence and as I rounded the corner, I saw a group of teenagers sitting near the fence surrounding the statue of Little Gracie, the exact place where the bodies of the two girls had been dumped. My stomach churned when I saw them.

  I stopped for a moment, struck by the looks of one of the girls. She looked exactly like a young Rose and for a moment, I thought I might be dreaming. The boy she was with looked at me oddly, which only made sense, since a strange man was standing there staring at his girlfriend.

  “C’mon, Maggie,” he growled, grabbing her hand and leading her away.

  Maggie. Of course. It all made sense. She looked just like her mother, her face as familiar as my own. But what was she doing here in the middle of the day?

  “Shit,” I muttered, continuing my walk. I eyed Little Gracie as I walked by, the thought of a dead body left lying at her feet leaving me sick.

  By the time I made it back to my bike, I knew what I had to do.

  Chapter 27

  ROSE

  With no responsibilities for the rest of the day, I started my Friday night around two in the afternoon. After one margarita, the next one just seemed to flow right into me without much thought.

  By the time I heard the rumble of an engine, followed by a quick rap on my door, I wasn’t sure if I was living in reality. But I went to the door anyway, expecting nothing like what I actually saw when I opened it.

  Blade stood there, his expression serious, his body stiff and stoic.

  “Did someone die?” I asked, laughing.

  “What?” he asked, his eyes widening.

  “Sorry,” I said, waving him in. “I’m a little tipsy.”

  “Nobody died,” he replied. “Why would you say that?”

  “You look so serious,” I said. “Want a beer? Margarita? Whiskey?”

  “A beer would be great,” he replied. “It’s fucking hot.”

  I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge before handing it to him. He popped it open and took a long swallow, allowing me a moment to get a good long look at him.

  And oh my god, was it a good look.

  How had he gotten so sexy? He’d always been a beautiful man, but there was something different about him now, something raw and sensual and dangerous, something completely and utterly appealing in such a savage way that it tore right through my consciousness and left my body buzzing with heat that had nothing to do with the relentless sunshine.

  He finished drinking and stared over at me, his serious gaze shooting flames right to my center.

  “I saw you drive by yesterday,” I said.

  “I know you did. I saw you watch me drive by.”

  “Why didn’t you stop?”

  “Does it matter?” he asked.

  “No. I probably know anyway,” I said, my eyes crashing into his.

  He waited a beat, then scoffed. “Maybe you do.”

  I walked over to him, closing the distance between us because I wanted to smell him, to be as close to him as possible. None of this was conscious, of course, it was my body reacting to his body, just as it always did. Anytime Blade was in the same room with me, you could bet I was going to be within hand’s reach of him.

  We’d not been in the same room together for a very, very long time.

  He smelled exactly the same. The musky scent of oil and sweat, mixed with the smell of his shampoo and soap. I inhaled deeply, wanting more, needing more.

  “Where are your kids?” he asked, looking around.

  “At school, and then going home with friends for the weekend,” I replied. He nodded, breaking my gaze and looking around the house.

  “Nice crib,” he said.

  “Thanks,” I said. “It’s too big for us.”

  “Us?” he asked, lifting a brow.

  “Me and the girls.”

  “That’s it?”

  “That’s it now. I asked Derek for a divorce.”

  He ran his hand through his hair, his forearm flexing as he looked back at me again. “Sera told me about that.”

  “Of course she did. The entire town loves to speculate on the reasons.”

  “I’m not surprised about that. So, what’s the reason?” he asked, his eyes staring right into mine, as if daring me to give him the real answer.

  Should I have told him? That all I did for years was think about him, miss him? Should I have told him that my marriage to Derek never had a chance because he’d left such a huge hole in my heart that I could never love anyone again?

  I didn’t say any of that, though.

  “It just wasn’t working out,” I said.

  “Dating someone else now?” he asked.

  “God, no,” I said, laughing. He raised a brow in question. “I just, you know, haven’t really met anyone…”

  His eyes darted down to my mouth, and my words trailed off.

  “What about you?” I asked, lifting my chin daringly.

  “Single,” he said, shaking his head slightly, his eyes still glued to my lips. I bit my lower lip, anxiety ripping through me.

  “Oh.” I said, nodding. “That’s…good.”

  “Yeah,” he nodded, his voice thick and gruff.

  The sparks flying between us seemed to ignite in an instant. Everything we’d missed out on, everything we’d felt so long ago, everything we’d never said that we’d thought we’d have forever to say — it all came rushing back in the form of this white hot band of heat that flowed between us and once ignited, the pressure
seemed to propel us into each other.

  We crashed into each other’s arms, our lips meeting in a flaming kiss that held all the passion of the past and the present wrapped up in it, my arms wrapping around his neck as he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me so close I could feel his hardness throbbing between us.

  This is insane, I thought to myself, as I opened my lips, his tongue delving in, claiming my mouth, his hands sliding up and down my sides, hot and gripping as he searched my mouth with his.

  Tears stung my eyes as I leaned into him. I squeezed them shut, melting into him and ignoring the hot wet heat as they poured down my face. I’d missed him so much.

  I’d loved him so much.

  I’d even hated him, for just a little while, until hating him became too much to bear and I went back to loving him, longing for him.

  Now that we were alone, our bodies weren’t going to wait for the reconnection we’d been starving for and even if I thought to stop this madness, I don’t think I could have.

  We needed each other.

  The strength of that need was too much for either of us to deny.

  His lips broke away from mine, his eyes searching mine deeply, showing me he was thinking the same things I was.

  I pulled away, shaking my head. Now that his lips were gone, I blinked myself back to reality.

  We weren’t teenagers making out in the park, we were adults.

  He looked at me with fire in his eyes, the feel of his lips still burning mine. My breasts heaved with desire for him, my eyes dilating with desire.

  “Rose, I’m so sorry,” he growled.

  I gasped, shaking my head. “No.”

  “I don’t know what…”

  His words trailed off as he just stared at me, his silence holding decades of questions.

  He was the one who left. But somehow it all seemed like it was up to me now. It was hard to explain, but my body didn’t care about the past. All it cared about was getting the one thing it had been yearning for all of these years. Making love to Blade was one of the most spiritual things I’d ever experienced, unlike anything like it since, and it was a part of my story that I tried desperately not to think about, but as soon as I closed my eyes, no matter how hard I tried, those memories rushed back with a vengeance, like a drug I’d tasted a long time ago that I couldn’t forget.